STEVE BOZEMAN

A veteran of the Marine Corps,
The leader of the flag corps,
And of the terrace vigil,
Steve is slightly over the hill.
Yet he's good for many more.

RADIATION PROTECTION

Nuclear power will reawake.
Radiation protection that will take.
At CVCC it's a darn good deal
For those learning with that to deal.
Big salaries they will make.

THE SYCAMORE TREE

While on my sedan sittin',
I read what Kathleen has written.
By John's old sycamore tree,
They chatted, Sarah and he,
And John was sorely smitten.

BLOOD CRUD

Bad stuff -- let's call it "crud" --
Is released by older blood.
Scientists, on inspection,
Find crud causes an infection
By making an immunity a dud.

EVEN KEEL

I sail on an even keel.
The highs I never feel.
I do miss those
But not the lows.
They don't have much appeal.

BILL BARKER

About Jefferson, Barker is well educated.
To portraying Jefferson, he is dedicated.
My concept of Thomas Jefferson
Is on his portrayal by this person
In large part predicated.

SEVENTY-TWO

It's right hard to screw
When you're seventy-two.
Though you you may be wise,
To the occasion to rise
It's hard for you.

SEVENTY-ONE

It's right hard to run
When you're seventy-one.
Yet harder is it
To finally admit
That those days are done.

It's right hard to run
When you're seventy-one.
At getting old I'd like to balk
Because even when I walk
It's not so lightly done.

It's right hard to run
When you're seventy-one.
I guess my jig is up.
With friends I can't keep up,
And that's no fun.

It's right hard to run
When you're seventy-one.
It's hard when you're old
And the weather's cold
Or on days hot with sun.

It's right hard to run
When you're seventy-one.
It's right hard to tweak
Legs stiff and weak
Even at the starting gun.

It's hard to run
When you're seventy-one,
When slow are your ways
And gone are the days
Of trophies won.

LYNDON AND I

The war in Vietnam
Was too much for Uncle Sam.
Lyndon would not give in
Though 'twas clear he couldn't win
With his battering ram.

I find it rather stunning
How this parallels my running.
Ever against my will,
I continue to slide downhill.
Yet defeat I still am shunning.

BOWLING GREEN

As nice a lawn as I have seen
Was old George's bowling green.
And beyond it I was discernin'
The mansion of Mount Vernon
As stately as it's ever been.

GEORGE WASHINGTON

He built Mount Vernon up from small
And married the richest widow of all.
Farming with the latest apparatus,
He was the American Cincinnatus
And more than six feet tall.

LIQUID GOLD

In days of old
Washington distilled "liquid gold."
"First in the hearts of his countrymen,"
He was a farmer and a businessman
As well as statesman and warrior bold.

FETAL DNA TESTING

Ethical questions come into play
As doctors test fetal DNA.
Will it cause unneeded worry?
Will couples be in a hurry
With their fetuses to do away?

PREMATURE DISCHARGE

A man may be strong and burly,
But it's a disappointment to his girly
And the same it is to him
If, when it's sink or swim,
He discharges pematurely.

SMALL BANK BANKERS

Small bankers should feel uplifted.
Money their way is being shifted.
Yet it's not more secure,
And you can be quite sure
The bankers are not more gifted.

GRACIOUS HOST

Cider, wine, beef, and chicken roast!
And, hey, I liked the sweets the most!
A Poplar Forest dinner
Always is a winner.
Old Tom is a gracious host.

NUCLEAR PARTS PLANT

A nuclear parts plant is in store
Close to the Virginia shore.
With very little hassle
They'll cast a reactor vessel
To contain a commercial core.

STRONGEST CURRENCY

Have you wondered now and then
On which money you can most depend?
You may not this perceive,
But this you can believe:
They say it is the yen.

MY EXPENSIVE TEETH

It costs me an awful lot
That my teeth decay and rot.
If he perhaps can save the day,
To my dentist I always say
"Give it your best shot."

SUBJECT FINDING

With verses in prevalence
And their favor in the balance,
Witing for this bard
Isn't all that hard.
Subject finding is the challenge.

POETS AROUND

I have generally found
There are some people around
Who can compose a poem,
And yet I do not know 'em,
As strange as that may sound.

JEFF FEDORKO

Whatever speed our pace is,
Something we have to face is --
And I know we all have said it --
Jeff deserves the credit.
He puts on the races.

LYNCHBURG ROADRUNNERS

To say, I think it's fair,
Lynchburg runners have much to share,
And of course we all know,
As runners come and runners go,
The Lynchburg RoadRunners will be there.

For thirty-five years with impunity
It's been serving our running community.
What could be better
Than The Milespost newsletter
And a modicum of unity?

CAR WEBCAMS

To the parent it has attraction
'Cause if there's G compaction
The parent wants to know it.
But the teen wants to throw it --
The camera that records the action.

PASTORAL HUGS

Almost every preacher
Is a hugging creature.
But in today's society,
Caution beyond propriety
Their hugs are sure to feature.

ASHA MANDELA

Her twenty years of hair
Takes a lot of care.
It's hard to keep it neat
Since it's nearly nine feet,
The longest anywhere.

WEIGHT LOSS FOOD

They're developing a food
With a taste right good
That will treat you right
By curbing your appetite
Like a good food should.

PLACEBOS

Half the doctors give placebos.
Is your doc one of those?
If it works for your minor pain,
Is he apt to do it again
When you're in your last throws?

WARM HEARTS

Wherever you go,
This is important to know:
If your surroundings be warm,
Then your heart will conform
And be warm also.

ELECTION OFFICER

At 6 AM the door unlatch.
At 7 PM the door relatch.
At 5 AM arrive on time.
Through the day from time to time
Check to see if the numbers match.

As voters come to the polls,
Find their names on the rolls.
Other things the job entails,
And the poll worker never fails
To employ all controls.

Before they leave, be sure to note
Whether they recorded their vote.
Though you work from early till late,
You must always concentrate
And not do the job by rote.

Rather than come to grief,
Bring all questions to the chief.
He and you are able
To consult the what-if table.
Rotation and breaks afford relief.

Meager is the pay
For your fifteen-hour day.
Bring your own food.
Be in the mood
In one room to stay.

ATHEIST

If someone on your mailing list
Turns out to be an atheist,
Don't let that be a detractor,
Though it be a factor
Which, till now, you've missed.


The Roanoke Times, 22 October 2008:

"Atheism is far more popular, and socially and politically accepted, in Britain than in the United States."

EDNA JESTER

Why else but to pester
Elderly Edna Jester,
Who may be short of cash,
Would police in Blue Ash
Decide to arrest her?

SAM FELDER

By his drowning, I am certain,
His family was stricken with pain.
After years eighty-seven
Does it that pain leaven
That they've found Sam's remains?

Still alive by longevity's caprice,
Possibly a nephew or a niece
Carries the memory of Sam.
But all those who'd give a damn
More likely rest in peace.

TMS

In a new medical field
Depression may well yield
To brain stimulation
By pulsed application
Of a magnetic field.

SNOWSHOE HIKE

Thinking it too cold for mountain biking,
Up at Snowshoe we went hiking.
Plentiful was what the bruin leaves.
Beautiful were the colored leaves
And greatly to our liking.

While exercise was our motive,
'Twas fun encountering a locomotive.
Perhaps 'twas the nicest part
That truly the greatest part
Of our route was no wise automotive.

MILKSHAKE STUDY

The less you find a milkshake yummy,
The more you put it in your tummy
And hence the more you get fatter.
Perhaps 'twould be a different matter
If its taste were crummy.


The Charleston Gazette, 17 October 2008:

Brain's food reaction a weight factor

"The brains of young women were scanned while they drank milkshakes to test the level of satisfaction they got from the shake."

"Drink a milkshake and the pleasure center in your brain gets a hit of happy -- unless you're overweight."

"It sounds counterintuitive, but scientists ... concluded that when the brain doesn't sense enough gratification from food, people may overeat to compensate."

"The small but first-of-a-kind study could even predict who would pile on pounds during the next year: Those who harbored a gene that made their brain's yum factor even more sluggish."

"'The more blurred your response to the milkshake taste, the more likely you are to gain weight,' ..."

TOO CLOSE

If you form a friendship tender
With a married one of the other gender
And you like the way it goes,
Be careful; don't get too close.
Away that may send her.

SURVIVING WHLE DRIVING

If you're counting on surviving,
Don't eat while you're driving.

Or if you do and drop your food,
Retrieving it is not so good
If you're counting on surviving.

THE ROANOKE TIMES

Many have been the times
I've found in The Roanoke Times
A story fit to nurse
And transform into verse
By fitting it to rhymes.

GOV. PALIN

For her there is no precedent.
I'm searching for a compliment.
She's pretty and vivacious;
Clearly she's audacious,
But totally incompetent.

INTERMINABLE LIBERTIES

In our land of liberty

Politicians learn from puberty

To sling mud into the eye

Of the other guy

While with truth taking liberties.

And of course they always will

Make promises they can't fulfill.

It's done by both old and novice

Whether seeking the oval office

Or a spot on capital hill.

Matters not their party

Or if they're hale and hearty.

Whatever be your wish,

They promise a dainty dish,

And it isn't a la carty.

If not totally altruistic,

They're always optimistic

And brimming with confidence.

To some it makes good sense

To be opportunistic.

Changing the question to one preferred,
They're never at a loss for words.
Not highly satisfying
Is their way of vying
To be the leader of our herd.

This campaign interminable

Finally approaches its terminal.

It's been a tiresome fight

Conducted all by sound bite

With few ideas germinal.

COACH BOB BROWN

Indomitable is old Coach Brown.
On his peg leg he gets around.
At seventy-one he's not retired.
Of coaching he's not too tired
To drive for his next first down.

Having coached some of the best,
He's helping Ferrum in their quest.
In the town where this coach labors
He loves the neighborliness of his neighbors.
He says they are the best.

KING PAUL

Paul Washington would be our king
If monarchy were our thing.
The most likely of all is he
Of George's living progeny.
Do you find this interesting?

2008 NOBEL ECONOMICS PRIZE

This theory developed by a trio American
Explains situations in which markets can
And others in which work they can't.
This theory is used to a great extent
By folks who strive the economy to plan.

NOBEL BETTING

Nobel betting, I'm told, is common
Regardless if it's frowned upon.
Americans who have a clue,
I think, are very few.
Must be a European phenomenon.

NORMAL WEAR AND TEAR

There are things, I swear,
That you have to grin and bear
To keep peace within your house
Together with your spouse.
They're just normal wear and tear.

THE JESUS HORSE CULT

They reject primordial slime.
They have theories more sublime:
Regardless if there's a deluge,
Alaska will be the final refuge
Just before the end of time.

This is sure to happen
While our sons are young and strappin'.
Most of us will see it.
It's His will, so be it.
Don't let it catch you nappin'.

Jesus rode a dino like horse
(After 'twas saved in The Arc, of course).
This was well before the Gaels
Who used to live in Wales
Were plundered by the Norse.

A presidential candidate
(A Muslim terrorist of late)
Has been training ghouls
To kill our kids in schools.
They can hardly wait.

TOO MUCH BOTHER

When I take a backward look,
I see how long us it took
(While all others we forsook)
To learn to live with each other.
To do that all again, in my book,
Would be too great a bother.

OR

When I take a backward look,
I see how long us it took
To learn to live with each other.
To do that all again with another
Would be too much, in my book.

THE POLITICS OF HATE

As we do our nation's bus,
I have to say, Gee whiz,
What a sad thing is this,
The politics of hate.
Surely a better way there is
To conduct our debate.

EBENEZER

A word that is a teaser
To me is Ebenezer.
Some people of some fame
Had it for a name,
One a Christmas story geezer.

It shows up in a hymn.
Was it put there on a whim?
This word is so contrary
That it's in no dictionary,
But it must be dear to Him.

It seems, in any case,
It's something that you raise.
Well, you can safely bet
That on the Internet
Down this word I'll chase.

Though they don't abound,
There are Ebenezer towns.
And even a wine Shiraz
This odd old name has
And two churches, I have found.

The Philistines were mean,
And with the Philistines
Old Samuel had to cope.
Sam set up a stone of hope
When their clock he cleaned.

JUDGE FORNOF-LIPPENCOTT

This judge is ever devisin'
Punishments to broaden horizons.
His reduced sentence held a lot to do,
But, had the rap fan followed through,
Bach he'd be recognizin'.

HOUSE SAWED IN TWO

Their marriage being through,
They sawed their house in two.
She's living in her half.
He disassembled his half
And with its parts withdrew.

CLITORIS

Always remember this:
Be kind to her clitoris.
Without any hesitation,
Give it oral stimulation,
And it will give her bliss.

ARTH ARREST

Here's what the doctor orders
For treatment of painful disorders.
Get relief in a minute
From this true horse liniment
Available at Walgreens' corners.

A DRUNK IN YOUR BED

Drunk I'm not adept.
Into your house I crept.
Comfy is your bed.
Aching is my head.
My apology please accept.

TESTICULAR CELLS

Here's a scientific find
Beneficial to half mankind.
When examined in a vial,
Testicular cells seem as versatile
As the stem embryonic kind.

REASON TO COMPLAIN

What does a woman gain
If for her it means pain
Or if it's only blah?
And every impotent pa
Has reason to complain.

Or maybe she's inhibited,
Thinking pleasure is prohibited.
Or maybe he fires too early
So that he and his girly
Can't get together riveted.

2008 NOBEL PEACE PRIZE

Reconciled are the troubles
'Twixt Indonesia and her rebels.
More peaceful will be her tomorry
For the help of Ahtisaari
If she has no more squabbles.

2008 NOBEL LITERATURE PRIZE

A French novelist who's lived in many lands,
Many cultures Le Clezio understands.
He's written thirty books on subjects various,
Most rather serious (not hilarious)
And knows what great writing demands.

PROGYMNASMATA

Do they teach progymnasmata
At your alma mater?
Down at the academy
It's as important as anatomy
And something they think a lot of.

Students in the academy enrolled
Know this subject cold.
It has nothing to do with arithmetic.
It has to do with rhetoric,
A subject ages old.

LUKE HARRIS

At safety a perfect fit,
This guy loves to hit.
Yet on the attack
He's the quarterback.
He has no time to sit.

QUARRY VOTE

Would the vote be contrary?
Residents found the prospect scary.
After the public hearing,
Just as they were fearing,
Evington gets the quarry.

LIVING GODDESS

Nepal is this disclosin':
Their new goddess has been chosen.
She won't have to smile good,
But she'll be denied a normal childhood,
And time cannot be frozen.

She never will be queen.
They're no longer 'twixt and 'tween.
Without her they'd feel diminished.
Her divinity will be finished
Ere she becomes a teen.

Candidate she was the best,
And she also passed the tests.
With a predilection
For physical perfection,
Clearly she's been blessed.

For others it was no soap.
Perfect is her horoscope.
There's not all that much to it.
She can muddle through it
Once she learns the ropes.

VINCENT JULIAN

Vincent Julian was born the other day.
A warm "Welcome" to him we say.
We wish him health and happiness
And plenty of love and success
All along his way.

2008 NOBEL CHEMISTRY PRIZE

The light a jelly fish produces
Has its scientific uses.
These guys know the essence
Of bioluminescence,
And none of them a recluse is.

2008 NOBEL PHYSICS PRIZE

Each is a marvelous man
Fitting Nobel's perfect plan.
And, according to the article,
They savvy subatomic particles,
These three gentlemen of Japan.

While I know not a token,
They know how symmetry is broken
And of families of quarks
Not delivered by storks,
And about these they have spoken.

GOLDEN PAVILION

Preserved from days of old
Is this palace all gilt in gold.
Orlin found it in Kyoto.
A marvel it is in total
And a beauty to behold.

VOLUME STUDY

Though its volume has been studied,
My prostate has not been bloodied.
Treatment is drawing near.
What they'll do is clear.
The issue has not been muddied.

2008 NOBEL MEDICINE PRIZE

Here's a note parenthetical
About the awards Nobel Medical.
The news has just come out.
Two viruses they're about.
It's no longer hypothetical.

What's the cause of cervical cancer?
Zur Hausen found the answer.
And of the AID syndrome?
That's also in this poem.
Two Frenchmen found that answer.

About AIDS, a controversy --
Resolved (Lord, have mercy!) --
Involved another fellow
By the name of Robert Gallo
From an American University.

FUNERAL BANNER

It's the Iraqi manner
Upon a death to hang a banner.
Then they put one in the ground.
Only the rich will be found
By a paper scanner.

A SHAME

It seems to me a shame
That just one man gets the fame
When two men independently
In fact made the discovery,
Each at time the same.

MIRACLE BABY

Baby found in a pool of mud
Four days after Algerian flood,
Hungry, I suppose,
But authorities disclose
The baby's health is good.

TRAINING

Training is my leisure
'Cause fitness is what I treasure.
Running is serious business;
Weight lifting gives me dizziness,
But biking is a pleasure.

I train an awful lot.
My partner likes this not
'Cause jobs are ever lurking
On which I should be working,
But time I haven't got.

LOST GOLF BALLS

Golf balls go oft astray.
In the grass then they lay.
My friend is a hard-core golfer.
I collect them for the duffer.
His expenses they help defray.

CAROL'S KNEE

Carol's old knee has been four weeks gone.
Her new knee connects to her good bones.
More so than one expects,
She's had bad side effects,
And the reason has not been known.

LEGAL STEALING

Though it seems unreal,
Gas folks can from you steal --
This within the law,
And from this deal raw
You have no appeal.

CURTESY

When 'twas common for a woman to curtsy,
Upon her death she left a curtesy.
She followed this plan
To help her old man
Out of courtesy.

Her land he could hold
Till it was his turn to fold
Whereupon
It was passed on
To their children, we're told.

AFGHAN

You don't have to be an Afghan
To wear a pretty afghan.
It's worn as a rule
When it's a little to cool
To sit outside and tan.

CURTILAGE

Mr. Jefferson had a curtilage
With a fence around its edge.
Everything that to his house pertained
Was in that curtilage contained
(Like his garden, sheds and hedge.)

Stables, slave quarters, things like those
Were within the fence enclosed.
'Twas with all necessities complete,
Ten acres on his Poplar Forest retreat,
Things to fill whatever needs arose.

NAVY SUB

For Air Force gals and guys
It was such an odd surprise
They thought their sanity was fleeing
As on their campus they were seeing
A Navy sub materialize.

ROADKILL COOKOFF

It's not at all what it sounds.
Right tasty food there abounds.
It's laid out on the table,
And as long as they are able,
The patrons make the rounds.

FIRE HYDRANT

Whenever a hydrant I see,
I'm always ready to pea.
Leg up, I squirt it.
Surely it won't hurt it,
This gift it gets from me.

PIPELINE

The pipeline can't decay,
But this news is out today:
By techniques right refined,
Inspectors have determined
That it's corroding away.

BAILOUT PLAN VERBIAGE

The bailout plan two weeks old
Has grown a hundred-fifty fold.
But legislators all this verbiage
Does not in the least discourage.
They all know this plan cold.

HORSEPOWER

On a bike you've but two HP per ton.
Nevertheless it can be great fun.
But a car or a truck
Its load can well buck
With about a hundred HP per ton.

PERFECT SCORES

Victory is a treat,
And it was all the more sweet
To read in The Journal
That both teams of Colonels
Scored fifteen in a tri-meet.

For who can ask for anything more
Than a perfect cross country score?
And more it will please
If more yet of these
Both teams have in store.

MESSY PEOPLE

We throw when the spirit moves us.
Messy people this proves us.
As though it's a requirement,
To mess up the environment,
We feel it behooves us.

JOAN BENOIT SAMUELSON

Among the women, number one,
She did right well at fifty-one.
We're so glad she came to town,
This gold medalist of renown,
Joan Benoit Samuelson.

FIVE WHO RAN THE VA TEN MILER

DAVID HORTON

LU's Doctor David Horton
Ran the race just to be sportin'.
Seventeen trail miles on feet right sore
He and buddies ran the night before!
Or were they moonshine snortin?


DAVID CHEEROMEI

Coach David Cheeromei
Is a Kenyan who can really fly.
Over the course he sped,
Seven minutes of second ahead!
He's another LU guy.


BILL DRAPER

If you know old Bill Draper,
Then you know he'll never taper.
Bill is now eighty-one,
And all thirty-five he's run
According to the paper.


JIM MONTGOMERY

From Florida it's a long drive
For a man almost seventy-five.
In his car this man I admire a lot
Slept in the parking lot!
For him it was number thirty-five.


BILL FASTABEND

We knew we could depend
On our own Bill Fastabend.
Running with an injured calf,
Cheered on by his better half,
He brought his 35th to its end.

BRAVE MASTER

The dog could scarcely bark
In that crisis stark.
No one could dive in faster
Than did that loving master
Who saved it from the shark.

DO LESS; GET HUNGRIER

This news is on the street:
Whether it's potatoes, fish or meat,
The more we sit,
The hungrier we get
And the more we eat.

ALTAVISTA

The twenty-three miles I rather like
To ride to Altavista on my bike,
Then lift weights and ride home to boot.
I went there one-way once on foot,
But that's a lengthy hike.

A SOLUTION EXISTS

Congress will, of course, persist.
Of what does the solution consist?
At the defeat, the market winced,
But Bob Goodlatte is convinced
A solution does exist.