VANITY

I know how good I am.
You don't have to tell me, Sam,
And appeal to my vanity.
That would be insanity
And, indeed, a scam.

ZEST FOR LIFE

For life have you a zest?
Is life for you a quest?
Is your life filled with passion?
Or do you suffer from depression
And need a lot of rest?

The folks I most admire
Seem to be on fire.
I'm sure it would be best
To have this kind of zest.
Am I preaching to the choir?

THE GROUNDHOG

The groundhog is a marmot.
The woodchuck is the same varmint.
Muck like the mole,
It lives in a hole
Where nothing much can harm it.

How far is spring away?
On February's second day,
It depends, when it comes out,
On whether its shadow is about.
At least that's what they say.

BOBBY BRADS, ONE-ARMED GOLFER

Arm he has but one.
Yet he hit a hole-in-one.
Golfing is no cinch.
Bobby doesn't give an inch.
He's a tough old son of a gun.

APPLICATION TO THE NRC

New reactor may be commissioned.
Application accepted by commission.
Doesn't mean it's approved.
To review, commission is behooved.
Means there are no omissions.


(The Nuclear Regulatory Commission accepts an application from Virginia Dominion Power for a new nuclear reactor.)

PACKING FOR TRAVEL

Weight restrictions are easy to read.
Weight restrictions you must heed.
Give yourself a break.
Plan and only take
What you really need.


(I'm famous for taking way too much duffle wherever I go.)

LOSING WEIGHT

Can you reduce your accumulation?
Input minus output equals accumulation.
That's all there is to it.
If you can do it,
That's cause for jubilation.


(I find that exercise has little effect on weight loss. I'd have to also eat less, and that's very hard for me to do.)

EXTRASENSORY PERCEPTION

Do you really believe
That some folks can perceive
External objects, thoughts, or events
Without the aid of any sense?
I find it hard to conceive.

TRAVELING OUT-OF-BODY

Is your inner being
Sometimes your body fleeing?
Does it occasionally come out
And travel round about
Just to be sightseeing?

TELEKINESIS

I've chosen as my thesis
The subject of telekinesis.
Do you believe in it whole?
Do things always travel whole?
Or sometimes move in pieces?

WATER WITCHING

Does water witching work?
Is it hard work?
Does it take a lot of skill?
Or can it with will
Be done by any jerk?

TELEPATHY

Mental telepathy do you believe in?
Are your telepathic messages deceivin'?
The truth would you send
To your other boyfriend
If you were busy conceivin'?

GHOSTS

I don't believe in ghosts.
But this I wonder most:
Would I if I saw one?
Would I call her "Hon"?
About her would I boast?

REMEMBERING THE FUTURE

Would your life be less humdrum
Had you the memory of things to come?
How would you apply it?
About things that would disquiet,
Would you just be keeping mum?

EXERCISE

Exercise, as I knew all along,
Not only makes you strong,
Which is helpful for your life,
But it tends to make your life
Extra long.


(Study says exercise may slow aging on the DNA level.)

GIRLS ARE MATURING FASTER

As schoolgirl things they master,
Girls' bodies mature ever faster.
Breasts are earlier blooming
As puberty comes in zooming.
I guess that's no disaster.


(The ages at which girls mature physically have been steadily declining.)

SEAT BELTS IN ALABAMA

Opposition is strongly felt
To using a seat belt
In a pickup in Alabama.
This is a dilemma.
Will this resistance melt?


(Use of seat belts in pickup trucks has not been required in Georgia but soon may be.)

THE INTERSTATE

Rolling down the interstate
Where truck drivers proliferate,
Thinking what could happen
Should one of them be nappin',
Glad I'm not intestate.

MOST HURDLES CLEARED

In spite of problems which appeared,
We always persevered.
We gave our very best shot
To learning to blogspot,
And most hurdles we have cleared.


(See bdhdwaysouth.blogspot.com, the blog which Stan Stansfield and I initiated in the Stansfield home in Oak Ridge, TN.)

GOOD NEW STUFF FOR ORGAN TRANSPLANTS

With organs, the tendency is expected
For transplants to be rejected.
It's a problem tough
Which, with this new stuff,
Someday may be corrected.

WOULD I LEAVE?

Would I leave this town
Where deep roots I've put down?
I might in good season
If I had good reason,
But only with a frown.

PHYLLIS II

Phyllis, our amaryllis, is no bore.
We had an amaryllis before.
She was Phyllis too.
So this is Phyllis II.
Beautiful she could not be more.

LOGARITHMS

A logarithm is a handy guy,
And this is the reason why:
In your algorithm
You add the logarithms
When you multiply.

Of logarithms this is a quirk,
And it makes the slide rule work.
Hey, I'm so old a guy
That I know from times gone by
How a slide rule works.

The good old slide rule
Was a mighty fine tool.
It was a dandy
That came in handy
For doing your work at school.

TIME MANAGEMENT

This is of importance prime:
You've got to manage time.
You've got to make decisions
About your time divisions
And do it all the time.

This is no surprise,
But let me emphasize
You've got no time to lose.
You've got to pick and choose.
You've got to juggle and prioritize.

It takes discipline this to do.
And it's up to you
To do the best you can
With regard to your plan
And to follow through.


(Self discipline and time management are essential in a normal busy life.)

CHARACTER

Honesty, responsibility, caring, and respect,
Perseverance, and integrity don't neglect.
I hope you choose 'em.
Once you loose 'em,
They're hard to resurrect.

TAKE PART

Are you an outgoing sort?
Your team do you support?
In a social situation,
Do you join the conversation?
Might you try a different sport?


(Prep schools are looking for outgoing students who will fit in and particpate.)

VISITING PREP SCHOOLS WITH INSOOK

Our friend Insook Oh of Seoul,
In what school will her son enroll?
In two days as our guest,
It was Insook's quest
This matter to control.

Minsung, clever, Korean, and cool,
Will be in tenth grade in school.
If it costs a king's ransom,
The school that's best for Minsung,
That will be Minsung's school.

Six prep schools we checked out.
There are a lot of them about.
'Twas interesting, I must say,
And fine schools are they
With great records they can tout.

They're schools for students smart,
Schools old but state-of-art
And up to speed on the latest trends.
I'm glad to help a special friend
Who is so close in heart.

About these schools I now am knowing
They want kids right outgoing,
Kids of good report
Willing to try a different sport,
Kids who to college will be going.

Teacher-student ratios are favorable.
The cafeteria food is savorable.
Faculty kind and wise
Are at hand to advise.
The SSAT may be waivorable.

It's part of their nitty-gritty
To stress integrity.
They are expensive country
Whether out in the country
Or close to a city.

Woodberry Forest is the one
Insook picked as number one.
If he has himself so well acquitted
As to be admitted,
'Twill be great for her son.

RUG RAT

Jackson can really crawl.
Gets stuck in places small.
From photos we can tell
He's doing very well,
And he is smiles all.


(Jackson will be nine months at the end of January.)

BUSINESS EXCELLENCE

A noble thing it is
To excel in your biz.
You can take a lot of pride,
And your customer will be satisfied
If your output top notch is.

QUALITY

Don't take quality for granted.
Be by it instead enchanted.
You'll find if you look into it
Care and finesse go into it
Which cannot be supplanted.

THE CUSTOMER

With the customer your business begins,
And this is how it spins:
No matter if you're Greek or German,
The customer will determine
Whether your business wins.

Regardless of the season,
The customer is the reason.
The customer is always right.
The customer, day and night,
You'd best be pleasin'.

GIANT RAT

What kind of rat was that?
'Twas a giant one-ton rat!
But more like a porcupine, the experts say.
And perhaps it served as prey
Of the stealthy saber-toothed cat.


(The fossil of a one-ton rodent has been discovered.)

VA DEL. SPRUILL'S BILL

Facsimile male private parts immense
Used as trailer hitch ornaments
Would be a misdemeanor crime
Under this bill subprime
Being considered at public expense.

A delegate by the name of Spruill
Is making himself a fool
By sponsoring such a bill.
Pass he thinks it will,
And he thinks it's cool.

SNOWSHOE

From my bed I roll out
To watch snow blowers spewing out
Upon a winter wonderland,
To gobble the grub at hand,
And ski if I'm feeling stout.

Though it is a real scooter,
I hate to wait for Lift Ballhooter.
Northwest Territories runs are fine.
Their lift has hardly any line.
For them I am a rooter.

Being a person of good cheer,
At Snowshoe I like to volunteer.
I reckon I can tout it,
For I find there's nothing about it
That anyone should fear.

Snowshoe strives to deserve us.
Free buses up there serve us.
They facilitate our skiing
Sometimes in conditions interesting
Which, if known, might make folks nervous.


(I'm well pleased with Snowshoe Ski Resort where our second home is.)

SKIING

To all, it is quite clear
That skiing is right dear.
After costs you can't be dodging
(Lifts, rentals, gas, food and lodging),
It's hard to afford light beer.

A normal man of seventy may be inclined
To ski just a little and then unwind.
Though I've skied for fifty years or more,
I need two dozen runs or more
'Cause my technique is not refined.

Right intense is my play
If I can ski but a single day.
More relaxed is my mode
If I only need to hit the road
After a lengthy stay.

RETIREMENT

Retirement is my vocation.
I'm always on vacation.
No demanding jobbies.
Just exercise and hobbies
And wholesome recreation.

Keeping up with kin and friends.
No burning candle at both ends.
My wife my only boss is.
In spite of investment losses,
My good cheer never ends.

Not always looking spiffy.
Can't do things in a jiffy.
More hours in the sack.
Of more pills keeping track.
Love life pretty iffy.

Teeth, eyes and ears barely work.
At least I'm not berserk.
My faculties are waning.
Grim Reaper, he is gaining.
But I don't have to go to work.

CURLING

A sport of much mystery
Curling has been to me.
From friends I've had a lecture.
No longer mere conjecture,
My knowledge still is wee.

Each player two stones sends.
A game has ten ends.
The stone slides while spinning.
An end is like an inning.
The skip directs his team of friends.

It's played by teams of four.
Closeness determines the score.
The reason for all that sweeping
Is the stone's true course keeping.
Some day I'll learn some more.

A stone's path is often curved.
Unswept particles can make it swerve.
An opponent stone it may come round behind
Or knock it, if you are so inclined.
A skilled player I'd like to observe.

If I may be verboser,
How many stones did your team put closer
Than your opponents' closest stone?
Once this number is known,
For the end, that is your score, sir.


(Canadian friends Ada and Morley told us some things about curling.)

GRAPEFRUIT

Like an orange but in size double,
A grapefruit is a lot of trouble.
Sour is this fellow
Whose color is yellow.
Don't dribble it on your stubble.

COLD MORNING

About this morning
We lacked this warning:
"After the fog blows off,
The wind'll freeze your nose off
While the day is borning."


(-5 F at Snowhoe Sunday morning 1/20/08)

CURSING IN VERSE

What could be worse
Than cursing in verse?
There's quite a bit to it.
There's no way I can do it
Unless I rehearse.

SUBSTITUTE TEACHERS

If the sub knows not the subject,
To babysitting the kids are subject.
In an arrangement
That inelegant,
What learning can we expect?

ANCIENT LOCOMOTIVES

Ancient locomotives rusting in a scrap yard
By the museum are desired.
How will they get to the museum
And restored so folks can see 'em?
Finding money for that is hard.


(Roanoke, VA: 2 diesels built in 1946, four steam engines built in 1903, 1910, and 1911.)

PASSWORDS

We haven't heard the last word
On the status of a password.
If you're in a predicament,
Does the fifth amendment
Apply to data stored?


(The federal government seeks to force a suspect in a child porn case to type a password that would unlock files on his computer.)

STUPID RULE

Everybody understands
She can bare but face and hands.
Her duds won't increase her speed.
So what then is the need
In her way to stand?

Officials should do better.
Compete they oughta let her.
It takes a stupid fool
To enforce a stupid rule
To its stupid letter.


(A rule about athletic uniforms was invoked to prevent a Muslim high school girl from competing in an invitational indoor track meet.)

SHOE GOO

If on the sole of your shoe
A spot is wearing through
And for that shoe you care,
Put some Shoe Goo there.
A little dab will do.

This product heaven-sent
Is much like rubber cement.
It won't make your shoe
Last as long as you,
But it's worth the money spent.


(I regularly put Shoe Goo on the high wear spots on the soles of my running shoes.)

THANK YOU

Teach this to your daughter and your son:
Of all the expressions under the sun
That can be uttered in the English tongue
To folks whom you may be among,
"Thank you" is the most important one.

JUSTICE

For the judicial occupation
There is this accommodation:
When it's supported by the evidence,
A judge may give a lighter sentence
If he gives an explanation.


(On January 11, 2008 the U.S. Supreme Court ruled in Gall vs. United States that a federal judge may depart from federal sentencing guidelines if he gives an explanation.)

BIKING WEATHER

Bike weather is good luck.
Bad weather I won't buck.
If it's cold, snowing, or misty
When I leave from Altavista,
I ride home in our truck.

(If it's not biking weather Tuesday and/or Thursday, I ride the 23 miles to and/or from the Altavista YMCA fitness center with Helen in our truck. Otherwise I ride my bike.)

HANDSHAKES

A passive wimpy handshake
A good impression does not make.
Bones you must not crush,
But a hand that feels like mush
Is pretty hard to take.

Yet, while this is true in the main,
A firm grip may cause pain
To an occasional elderly person.
Their athritis you must not worsen.
A limp hand may their friendship gain.

REBUILT RAT HEART

Some researchers pretty smart
Have been perfecting their natty art.
And now we are told
That, lo and behold,
They've rebuilt a ratty heart!


(Scientists take "all" the cells from rats' hearts, then rebuild the hearts by injecting cells back into the "scaffold," then initiate beating by electrical stimulation.)

NICE LIVING SPOT

We have splendid vistas near,
And the weather is seldom drear.
Other spots are nice also,
But some of them are not so.
I'm glad I'm living here.

HOLIDAY LAKE HIKE

Out beyond the surrender grounds
The beauty of nature abounds.
The rural atmosphere
Puts you in good cheer
Which no development confounds.

We hikers were nine.
The weather was fine
For a hike to take
Around a lovely lake,
Though not quite pristine.

When there was something to see,
It was shown by T.C.
From the forest 'twixt the trees,
He showed us some geese.
A very fine leader was he.

The lake was right low,
And our pace was right slow.
I am a believer
That there are a few beaver
From the work that they show.

The trails were oft level
With no camber or bevel.
So we completed six miles
Still wearing bright smiles
And not the least disheveled.

Of these trails, some I have run.
Hiking them likewise was fun.
This was beyond doubt
As from the woods we came out
In the setting sun.


(Six-Mile NBATC Hike: Holiday Lake State Park Loop, Led by T.C. Harvey)

ODU SATELLITE CAMPUS

There is a way, it should be known,
To keep college expenses down.
This you can do
At satellite ODU
Right here in town.


(Old Dominion University of Norfolk, VA operates a satellite service on the campus of Central Virginia Community College in Lynchburg, VA.)

MOONSHINERS

MOONSHINERS

A moonshiner has the will
To operate his still
With the revenuers
As his pursuers
In these days yet and still.


(Moonshiners and revenuers still play a cat-and-mouse game in Franklin County, VA.)

TITANIUM PLANT

In a place of industry scant,
They'll build a titanium plant.
When metallurgy was my field,
Working there might have appealed.
But retirement it shan't supplant.


(A $100 million titanium-producing factory will be built in Henry County, VA.)

URANIUM

Energy truly does abound
In uranium underground.
But there is much doubt
That for getting it out
A safe way can be found.


(Momentum is growing in the radioactive debate over whether to open a uranium mine near Chatham in Pittsylvania County, VA. Advocates see a wealth of opportunity; opponents see safety and environmental concerns.)

MATCHES

Their importance is hard to match.
Before the invention of the match,
You had to borrow a coal and truck it
In a wooden bucket
If a fire you wished to hatch.

NURSING HOME

The nursing home is one place sad.
It's not my home, I'm so glad.
If you're not already there
When you move in there,
It may drive you mad.


(When I'm in that part of town, I visit a friend in a nursing home.)

FAIR MINDEDNESS

Are we up to the task?
Or is our fair-mindedness a mask?
Can a woman, is it evident,
Or a black get elected president?
It depends on whom you ask.

YOUR SWEETHEART

Don't assume your sweetheart thinks like you.
It's not a wise thing to do.
You may find that, by and large,
On issues small and large
It simply is not true.

SMOKING

I wouldn't smoke a cigarette.
It has no benefit.
I think that jokers
Who are smokers
Ought to quit.

Their smoke we ought not face
In a public space.
When we go there,
There should be no smoke there,
Not even a trace.

But a bar is a different case.
Some folks like smoke in their face,
And government should let it ride,
Let the market place decide
In such a private place.

If we choose to ruin our health,
We shouldn't have to do it in stealth.
A government that lets us our way jive
In our own private lives
Is a precious wealth.


(Gov. Timothy M. Kaine is proposing a ban on smoking in all Virginia restaurants and bars.)

POPPIES

In Afghan fields poppies grow.
To our foe their earnings flow.
Dead troops the profit yields
Like those in Flanders fields
Where the poppies blow.


(Inspired by editorial "Afghan poppy fields ignored way too long." Tied to John McCrae's "In Flanders Fields.")

SELF-DRIVEN CARS

"This is not science fiction"
But may be a biased prediction.
In just another decade,
Autos will be on parade
With a self-driving predilection.


(GM says driverless cars may be on the market in ten years.)

YOGA DAY

I try to be upbeat every day.
But on our yoga day,
With my necessary abortions
Of elementary contortions,
There is just no way.


(Helen drags me, kicking and screaming, to yoga class on Monday evenings.)

WEIGHT MACHINES

I find it hard to assess
Which machine I like best.
But it's clear which beast
Pleases me the least.
It's the biaxial chest press.


(Helen and I work out in the fitness center at the Altavista YMCA Tuesdays and Thursdays.)

LOUISE MARTIN

Aunt Louise at ninety-one
Still thinks running's fun.
She's coming back
From a heart attack.
Like her, there is no one.

HUGH ROSSER

Hugh's record is right nifty,
And I think he'll stay for fifty.
As to all is well known,
The county has greatly grown.
But it still is thrifty.


(Rosser, Seneca District, Campbell County, sets record for the longest service by a county supervisor in Virginia -- 48 years.)

CHRIS MCCUIN

Having nothing better to do,
Chris chopped up his lover true.
'Twas a cruel way to treat her.
No doubt he meant to eat her
With veggies in a stew.


(Man kills, chops up his girlfriend, boils her body parts, then calls the police to tell them what he's doing.)

FARM AUDIT

Don Gardner has a heifer farm,
And I'm sure it has it's charm.
Ever since he bought it,
He'd planned to have an audit,
And it'll surely did no harm.

(Don Gardner opened his Bedford County heifer business to a detailed audit by the National Dairy Quality Assurance Center and received a superior DQA rating.)

AUNT DORA

Each morning the weather cooperates,
To the church and back she perambulates.
At ninety-one her health is good.
Some younger folks do likewise should
Before their health disintegrates.


(My aunt, Dora Bartlett Davis, walks with my cousin, Pat MacPherson Byers, and sometimes other ladies to the Oakville community church near Shedd, OR. It's about 1-1/2 miles roundtrip from her home.)

UNCLE RALPH

I met "Uncle Ralph" doing recycle.
His condition may be a miracle.
(He looks good for one
Who is ninety-one.)
But he doesn't ride a motorcycle.

("Uncle Ralph" Parsons is the 91-year-old friend of the verse below.)

LONGEVITY

If in spite of life's brevity,
You would have longevity,
It's partly in the genes,
But it also means
Exercise, diet, and attitevity.


(A 91-year-old friend told me "I attribute my longevity to three things: exercise, diet, and attitude.)

VERY WELL, THANKS

I've been around for quite a spell,
And some things don't work so well --
No, not any more.
Yet, who could ask for anything more?
Thanks, I'm doing very well.

WRONG-WAY HARVEY

As if lame in the brain,
We drove off in the rain
'Cause from taking a peek
At Jennings creek,
We could not refrain.

But as we drew near,
The skies became clear.
Then while leading the way,
T.C. and then I turned the wrong way
As soon as we got in gear.

Past a falls that amazes,
We returned to the blue blazes
And the rest of the day
Went out of our way
To be in the right places.

We were just Eric, his dog, and T.,
Nancy, T.C., Marshall, Laura, and me
As we were surmountin'
The trail up Cove Mountain
While enjoying the scenery.

'Twas while reflecting on Santa Claus
During a brief pause
That from Nancy I found out
That my shirt was inside out,
Though undimished by flaws.

When the top we crested,
For a while we rested.
And I had to think,
As I took a drink,
How great it tasted.

The view was hard to be topping
From the handy outcropping
Close to the shelter
Where, on rocks helter-skelter,
For lunch we were stopping.

Just like I'd heard Eric declare,
'Twas all downhill from there.
I'm speaking of elevation,
Not any negative sensation
Or troubles, I swear.


(8-mile NBATC hike: Jennings Creek and Little Cove Mountain, led by Eric Anderson, 6 Jan 09)

LIBBY

Helpful and compat
Is this seeing-eye cat
With Cashew, a dog
Who's as blind as a log.
Can you top that?


(From a "floating" e-mail: "Cashew, my 14-year-old yellow Lab, is blind and deaf. Her best friend is Libby, 7, her seeing-eye cat. Libby steers Cashew away from obstacles and leads her to her food. Every night she sleeps next to her.")

DEER HUNTING DOGS

If you live in a rural setting,
Hunting dogs you are sweating.
Hunter's dogs are no blessing.
Your livestock they're distressing.
These dogs you're not petting.


(From the Richmond Times-Dispatch, 5 Jan 08: "... the dogs run through her property and scare her family's horses, chickens and goats. 'We pretty much feel like prisoners for the entire hunting season,' Miller said.")

CRITTERS BOOK

Would you like to have a look
When we have our book?
It's an ABC book of critters
For young kids and their sitters.
I wish it would faster cook.


(I'm waiting for my artist partner, Seth Bennett, to illustrate the six remaining of 26 critters.)

MODEL "A"

Ed Wilmer has my "A",
Has had for many a day.
He works at his own pace.
Of course, it's not a race,
And he'll finish some day.


(Having repaired the damaged spots on its body, Ed is -- very slowly -- painting my 1930 Model "A" Ford standard coupe.)

BAD AXE

They went to Bad Axe feeling their luck
For to collect their hundred fifty bucks.
To collect in Lansing they were admonished.
They were highly astonished
To have won a quarter million bucks!


(A couple from Bad Axe, MI won $250,000 in the lottery.)

ESCAPE

Trapped out there all alone
When it seemed his doom was sown,
Resolved to be a denyer
Of the claim of a fire,
He whittled through his arm bone.


(A farmer got his arm caught in a farm machine. Then the machine caught fire. To save himself, he cut his arm off with his pocket knife.)

GRAVEYARD CANCER

Does the graveyard shift cause cancer?
Or is it just a cancer enhancer?
Here's some advice to keep:
Get a dark night's sleep
If you're a night shift dancer.


(Based on a newspaper article.)

IODINE ISOTOPE

If you have cancer of the thyroid,
With this stuff it can be destroyed.
Of course, when this is done,
Contamination of your love ones
You must carefully avoid.


(From a newspaper article. The radioactive dose is extremely powerful, and even a patient's sweat is a dangerous contaminant.)

DONALD DUCK

False testimony he won't bear.
But what info has he to share?
Donal Duck is in demand
On the witness stand.
But I think there's been an error.


(Some characters of Disneyworld of Italy received summons to appear in court as witnesses in Italy.)

IT'S THE SUBJECT

In writing verse, true this is:
You have to have a thesis.
You have to have one to start,
And it's the most important part
Of a good poem's synthesis.

TRUE GRIT

Those who have true grit
Are they who stick with it,
The ones who make the honor rolls
For reaching long-term goals
Because they never quit.

Though it may take many a year,
These folks persevere.
They continue on with courage
And do not become discouraged
By disappointments that appear.


(Based on an article by Prof. Ken West)

I APPRECIATE

Wherever I may roam
Near or far from home,
I really do appreciate
All those who appreciate
The best of my poems.

SOCCER GAME

If you're a Sunni or a Shiite,
Soccer beats a lethal fight.
In this land engulfed by flames,
Surely this sort of soccer game
Is a welcome sight.


(A sandlot soccer game was arranged between Sunnis and Shiites.)

PREACHER HUCKABEE

Preacher Mike Huckabee,
Totally unfit is he.
May our good sense abide
And save us from a downhill slide
That doesn't have to be.

DOGS

When the snarling commences
I'm thankful for those unseen fences.
They don't bite, their owners claim.
They can be a problem just the same.
Restraining them just good sense is.

CHRISTMAS LETTERS

A whole lot of letters we send out.
You may guess how many about.
It costs a pretty penny
Because I send so many
That Helen may throw me out!

And a lot of letters come our way.
How many, I can't say.
But I have the solution.
It's my New Year resolution
To read a few each day.


(I can't read our ton of incoming Christmas letters as they come in, i.e., all at once.)

BENEFICIAL AMINES

There is a special amine
On which I'm very keen.
It' hard to exaggerate
My keenness on the salicylate
Of triethanol amine.

Oft effective in its action
Of arthritic pain subtraction
Is another helpful amine,
Glucosamine chondroitin,
And it has no interactions.


(Trolamine salicylate is the active ingredient of CVS' Arthricream Rub, a salve which is a sort of external aspirin. Trolamine salicylate is, in fact, closely related to aspirin. Glucosamine chondroitin is a big pill.)

LOUISE MARTIN

It's hard to believe that anyone
Does so well at ninety-one.
And I must confess
I'm greatly impressed
By what she's done.

There is no medicine that she takes.
Each day, five miles she makes.
Heart repair has scarcely slowed her down.
Her farm she likes to work around
Except when her ankle breaks.

She's a veteran of the Ten Miler.
Her age group records would fill a compiler.
She's very nice to know,
And, as far as I know,
Louise is always a smiler.

MIKE HUCKABEE

When to the polls we all go,
I hope we'll better know.
Preaching should be Mike's dominion.
That's my opinion.
But what do I know?

OUTGOING

Regardless if it's snowing,
I strive to be outgoing
And give a friendly greeting
To folks I'm upwith meeting
Whom I've not been knowing.

GENOCIDE IN KENYA

Young neighbor, you are about to fry.
Perhaps you wonder why.
It's sad you're about to leave us,
But your crime is the kind most grievous:
You are of a different tribe than I.

LOST GOLF BALLS

Lost golf balls the bard collects
And saves those with no defects.
With them, a bag he'll fill
And in August give to Bill*
More balls than he expects.


* Bill Kaskewsky of Marietta, OH whom we see every August at the Snowshoe Symphony Festival.

MY FRIEND

A most cheerful gal is she
And friendly as can be.
She's right athletic too,
And this is very true:
She loves her family.

Perhaps it's just as well,
But I don't know her all that well.
We like to keep in touch.
I like her very much,
And this I'll also tell:

I'm as happy as can be
That dear friends are we.
Though a gift I've never bought her,
She's a whole lot like a daughter
And will always be.

MY GOAL

My running goal I've set.
I'm training hard for it.
But if I should fail,
I won't weap and wail
'Cause I'll reap a benefit.

TRAVEL PHOTO BOOKS

Dear folks and places we have seen
In Korea and the Philippines.
Pictures done up so nicely.
As Helen foresaw precisely,
On these books I am right keen.

Through photos she'd been sifting,
Making books for Christmas gifting --
Professionally printed and bound,
As nice as any around,
Two books I find right uplifting.


(As a Christmas present for me, Helen prepared/obtained books of photos of our trips to Korea and the Philippines.)

NOT ENGAGED

Ann Marie and Scott
Will someday tie the knot!
Is your attention undivided?
This they have decided.
Yet, engaged they are not.


(It won't be "official" until there is a wedding date and an engagement ring.)

WARS

There have always been wars
And rumors of wars.
Maybe at least
We can dream of peace
While expecting wars.

DIRT

In my yard I have a need.
So I talked with neighbor Meade,
A man who'll give his shirt.
I take from his pile of dirt
But not with any speed.


(Each day I put a wheelbarrow load of dirt in depressions in our back yard.)

AN OLD COUPLE

Their passion is long gone.
Companionship lingers on.
Grandfather and grandmother,
Each has the other
To depend upon.

Madly in love, they've been there.
Decades have flown away somewhere.
In years they're getting along.
Oft barely getting along,
They're hanging in there.

Their marriage is unsinkable.
Divorce is unthinkable.
Needing each other,
Continue they'd ruther.
Their commitment is unshrinkable.

GIVE YOUR BEST

Each and every day
Regardless of your pay,
Give your boss your best.
This can't be overstressed
Whatever comes your way.

DILIGENCE

Don't be on the fence
About diligence.
Give your quest
Your very best.
This is just good sense.

TAKE OWNERSHIP

You have the ability
To perceive how it oughta be.
It isn't cute
To just be mute.
Take responsibility.

LITTER COLLECTOR

LITTER COLLECTOR

An environment corrector,
I am a trash collector.
Anyone who throws things out
Is, at the least, beyond a doubt
An environment neglector.


(I recycle the aluminum cans for the benefit of Habitat for Humanity, and I throw the other litter in garbage cans along the way.)

RAISING KIDS

It's the most important job you've got.
So give it your very best shot.
Teach by precept and example.
Give them love more than ample,
But spoil them not.

NEEDING YOUNG BLOOD

NBATC hikers are all mature.
Of the reason, I'm not sure.
Rather than go hiking,
Other hobbies to their liking
Younger folks no doubt prefer.

OUR PICKUP

We've had good luck
With our Dodge truck.
It's a four-door dandy
And comes in handy
A large load to buck.

I'D BE LOST

There may be domestic strife,
And differences may be rife
With your chosen someone.
Yet, when all is said and done,
I'd be lost without my wife.

NEW YEARS DAY RUN

Five miles, then hot cider and cookies
To see how the new year was looking.
There were some runners strong,
But behind I just tagged along.
You wouldn't call it booking.

VIGNETTE

This is today's vignette.
It's nothing you should sweat.
Your life it won't impede.
It's just something you can read
And then forget.

NEWSPAPERS

Newspapers I peruse
For stuff that I can use --
Articles of poetic interest.
I also have some interest
In soaking up the news.

My wife has rightly said
My papers are not well read.
I wish I were more plucky.
I scan them when I'm lucky
Ere I go to bed.

TO BE A BLOGGER

While I'm still a jogger,
I'll become a blogger.
And I'm sure there'll come a day
When I'll be obliged to say
"I'm a blogger, not a jogger."

POMEGRANATE JUICE

If you want to endure like granite,
Don't take your health for granted.
Don't let your health vamoose.
Drink deoxidizing juice --
The juice of pomagranates.

MARRIAGE GAME

Was there a matchmaker in your marriage game?
Or do you have just yourselves to blame?
Are you Germans or are you Turks?
Your challenge to make sure it works
Is, in any case, the same.

FAT AND LAZY

Americans are, by and large,
Excessively large
And somewhat lackadaisy
About being fat and lazy
Or at least on the marge.

TRANSITION

I will not be a squawker
Though long I've been a balker.
So, pleasant is my disposition
Though I'm in transition
From a runner to a walker.

SURROGATE MOTHERHOOD

In India, surrogate motherhood
Is a growing business understood.
Maybe it's exploitation
Of women of a poor nation.
Maybe it does some good.

TACKLE DEBACLE

Football official Mister Quirk
Became agressive in his work.
But I guess he'll not be fired
For his tackle unrequired
Nor end up as a clerk,

PRO FORMA SESSIONS

Senate sessions pro forma
Nowadays are quite normal.
To be active the Senate pretends
With sessions lasting nine seconds.
This avoids adjournment formal

And may prevent the president's appointing
Officials to the Democrats disappointing.
(Where appointments are concerned,
When the Senate is adjourned,
They don't need senatorial anointing.)

PROTON ACCELERATOR

More than X-rays precise
Is this tumor-killing device.
Every med center, it seems,
Covets its proton beams,
But 100 million is its price.

GREENBURGH, NY

Property tax bills in this city
Aren't the least bit pretty.
They're among the nation's maxes.
But 'twill help seniors pay taxes
To work part time for the city.