A PARADOX

Input minus output equals accumulation.
Yet no reduction in accumulation
Can be achieved by exercise alone.
The only way, it's well known,
Is by starvation.

CHENGDU

'Twas hard on the pandas in the zoo.
'Twas hell for the people too.
'Twas a mighty bad disaster
That did worse than crack the plaster
In and near the city of Chengdu.

SARAH PAGE

We haven't at all known her,
Which doesn't make her a loner.
Across the street she's been situated.
Now that she has graduated,
The adult world will own her.

Not knowing if Sarah is arty,
We've been invited to her party,
And there's nothing that we'd ruther.
She looks just like her mother
And seems hale and hearty.

MONKEY BUSINESS

Science has made this gain:
A monkey, with its arms restrained
Though it's done no harm,
Can control a robotic arm
With implants in its brain.

MOORE & GILES

A leather works they're manning.
It's superb because of planning.
At seventy-five it isn't new.
Great is the work they do.
But they don't do the tanning.

(Moore & Giles is an up-and-coming, 75-year-old leather company in Forest, VA with 52 employees and 40 sales representatives around the world.)

LEGS ASSESSED

Running duds, like a swim suit,
Some women well suit.
Since they're half-undressed,
Their legs I've assessed
While in hot pursuit.

LOVE HANDLES

To me it's a scandal
To have love handles.
It's not my plan
To be a fat man
Lounging in sandals.

CULTURAL DIVIDE

When to go into business they decide,
Professors face a cultural divide.
It's hard for them to come to terms
With the need to explain in simple terms.
Just ask any of them who've tried.

Business is a different game.
The skills required are not the same.
Professors think in a different way.
Idea generators are they.
It isn't that their brains are lame.

PHILIPPI

There's a new outlook now in Philippi.
To make it whole again they'll try.
They've got economic woes to fix.
New mayor's coming in at thirty-six.
Let's hope his ideas fly.

THE DONKEY

The donkey is the daddy of the mule.
Don't you think that's cool?
Of him you'd best beware
If you're a tall Clydesdale mare
And the donkey has a stool!

NORMAL WEAR AND TEAR

They may seem more than you can bear.
Yet, if your mind is fair,
You know before your leave the house
Over problems with your spouse,
They're just normal wear and tear.

CANOEING WVA'S GREENBRIER RIVER

From Cass to Clover Lick
We did the canoeing trick.
'Twas a lovely sunny day
With perfect water all the way.
Could anything be more slick?

CVKA MEMORIAL DAY 10K

Down Rivermont Av we runned
With a speed that nearly stunned.
On Memorial Day we came out,
Did a 10K workout,
And did it for the Kidney Fund.

MICHEL FOURNIER

His equipment he will trust.
The sound barrier he will bust.
Will he be a man of smiles
After falling five and twenty miles?
Will his feat be much discussed?

GRATITUDE TO WARRIORS

Warriors standing tall,
Warriors whose lot it was to fall.
Profound gratitude
Is our attitude
Toward them, one and all.

DISCRIMINATORY MONEY

It's a crying shame
Our bills all feel the same.
Regardless of intent,
Our government to that extent
For discrimination is to blame.


(Federal appeals court for District of Columbia says the government is denying blind people meaningful access to the currency.)

COMPLETING THE MMTR

A lot of training went into it --
Training, determination, and grit.
I kept the required pace
In that masochistic race
And was not obliged to quit.


(I hope I can publish this verse after the 1 November 2008 fifty-mile MMTR.)

BRENDA STRONG, ANIMAL COMMUNICATOR

Is your pet the joy of your life?
What is its view of life?
What thoughts are in its head?
And if your pet is dead,
Is it happy in the after life?

You'll be happy if along
Comes Ms. Brenda Strong.
You'll find it's great
With your pet to communicate
And not get its message wrong.

SPIN

It is no sin
To put on a good spin.
If you've a problem to escape,
Say you're in great shape
For the shape you're in.

THREE-PEAKS HIKE

Harkening Hill and Sharp Top,
Then old Flat Top.
On a super hiking day
Out Peaks of Otter way,
I climbed all three nonstop.


(18 May 2008. Fourteen miles total: 11 on hiking trails, 3 on paved roads.)

JENNIFER SHARPE

Was it her prime location?
Or should selling be her vocation?
Seventeen K boxes Girl Scout
Is a cookie record very stout.
In Europe she will vacation.

(Jennifer sold 17,328 boxes of Girl Scout cookies on a Detroit street corner this year.)

LOCAL COLOR

At the international festival
We had a ball.
Folk dancing we watched all day.
'Twas only fifty miles away
And had no fee at all.


(Roanoke's 18th annual "Local Color" festival. Parade of nations, costumes, music, dancing, arts and crafts exhibits, food (not free) of >70 countries brought by people who live in and near Roanoke, VA.)

BARANGUAYS

Siquijor has 42 baranguays.
In local matters each holds sway.
Its captain is like a mayor.
He's an important player.
Fifty bucks is his monthly pay.


(In the Philippines a baranguay is a district comprising about 2,000 citizens.)

RICK BARON

On your better days
Can you remember yesterday?
Rick Baron without fail
Can recall in great detail
Forty years of yesterdays!


(Baron is one of three who have extraordinary biographical memories. USA Today, 13 May 2008,)

HEAVAGE

For a display of cleavage
You need a bra with heavage.
That a gal can go right far
Without the proper bra
Is beyond believage.

KEEP ON ADVERTISING

Nothing draws our oohs and ahs
Like sexy ladies in their bras.
Keep on advertising, please,
And you'll be sure to please
Us horny old grandpas.

MOTHER NATURE

People are dying here and there.
Natural disasters kill their share.
What is the nature
Of our mother nature?
She really doesn't care.

HOTS

Wouldn't you have fun
If you had a hon
For whom you had the hots
Who was all the gals for whom you'd had the hots
Rolled up into one.

PARROTS

How smart could be a parrot
If schooling could prepare it?
Have you any clues?
Had it any news,
Would it be glad to share it?

Could it only just repeat?
Or could it think upon its feet?
Could it cleverly converse
Or maybe compose a verse?
Wouldn't that be neat!


(Article in USA Today 13 May 2008 tells about Irene Pepperberg's research with parrots at Brandeis University.)

A SHINTO WEDDING

Though they hadn't been dating,
Soon they were osculating.
Anything but cold,
They grew ever more bold.
For what were they waiting?

His urge was the stronger,
But he wished not to wrong her.
So they continued for a while
Till she said with a smile
She could wait no longer.

Details I won't go into
Once her he got into
Except that her clan
Lived in Japan
And the wedding was Shinto.

A PLEASURE

That bit of leisure
Was a great pleasure.
Our hormones were in foment
During that moment
I'll always treasure.


(A Mothers' Day card from husband seen in a store read something like this: "Happy Mothers' Day from the one who made it possible for you to be a mother. And I assure you it was a pleasure.")

YOU'LL NEVER KNOW IT

If you believe, you know it.
If you believe, you'll show it
As a witness strong and true.
And if it isn't true,
You'll never know it.

If you have faith, you'll show it.
Sure that God will bestow it,
You'll dream of paradise.
And if it doesn't materialize,
You'll never know it.

Paradise, you can't earn it.
From here, you can't discern it.
It's a mighty good deal.
And if it's not for real,
You'll never learn it.

You won't wake up on the other side
And learn you've been denied
That which you had expected.
So you will not be dejected
Or even a bit dissatisfied.

You won't be suddenly wise,
Experiencing a sad surprise.
Oblivious to the situation,
You'll feel no consternation.
And no one you will apprise.

TRAIN BY PRAISING

Behaviors are repeated that are prompters of praise.
So use praises as your training base.
About negative behaviors don't be sore.
These things just ignore.
Of anger show no trace.

HINDSIGHT

When we make a foolish mistake
That causes an unlucky break,
We look in hindsight,
And we're very bright
As to precautions we should take.

FAILED SUCCESSES

Can a success a failure be?
Yes, and take it from me:
If it makes a mess
Of further success,
It's a failure certainly.

WAR

All mankind should deplore
The terrible scourge of war.
The ones we've had
Were terribly sad,
And no doubt there'll be more.

FLOWERS

Color and joy the flowers bring
When they appear in the spring.
But brief is their stay
Before they die away.
Too short is their fling.

STEAK'N SHAKE

Steak'n Shake
Makes a heck of a shake.
It's hard to beat
And a mighty fine treat
For your lunch break.

ADDICTED

I could well be depicted
As with a modern ill afflicted.
A man well past my prime,
On the computer I spend my time.
To the Internet I'm addicted.

And I guess I'll be depicted
As being still addicted
When I'm older still
And against my will
To the house restricted.

In the past,
Though I was never fast,
Running oft conflicted.
But life will be more constricted
When in that role I'm cast.

HAY

When you go away
Leaving no prevention plan in play,
You may be concerned
When you have returned
That your grass has grown to hay.

A VISIT TO THE ZOO

Jackson was but half of two
When we took him to the zoo.
Though I'll say up front
There was no elephant,
'Twas a good thing to do.

For a kid needs his dad,
His grandma and granddad.
And this is the reason
For the zoo in this season
We were glad.

We have no videotape.
The chimp is an ape,
A cousin of man,
And likewise the orangutan.
But Jackson was not agape.

But this much I can say:
He relished seeing kids at play,
And when he's a little older,
If the weather isn't colder,
We'll be back again someday.

To me it was amazing
That on grass the giraffe was grazing
Since it is so tall,
That prairie dogs are so small,
And tapirs so much air displacing.


(On 30 April 2008 Eric, Helen, and I took Baby Jack to the Madison, WI zoo.)

THE LMR

I ran up in Madison
Much slower than my son.
The Lake Monona 20K
Is a race A OK
And well worth the mon.


(My son Eric and I ran in the 30th annual Lake Monona 20K in Madison, WI on 3 May 2008.)

THE POINT OF NO RETURN

When a man's belly's great size
Precludes exercise,
With great sadness he'll learn
He's past the point of no return.
Or so I surmise.

When a changed way of life
Would be too great a strife,
When hiring a trainer
Would be a no-gainer,
With health problem's he's rife.

Now consider this analogy.
You may call it a tautology.
You are a trainer.
You're in a company's retainer.
It has this biology.

Where once you saw promise,
A downturn is ominous
With a company who
Should differently do
From its landscape agronomous.

NOT LIABLE

Our horses, of course, are tame,
But we warn you just the same:
If, while being friendly with our horses,
You are killed by their forces,
We are not to blame.

(A posting notes that, under Wisconsin law, an "equine professional" is not liable in an injury or death of a participant in equine actvities resulting from the inherent risk of equine activities. A resident interprets that a horse owner is not liable if someone is hurt or killed as a result of petting, feeding, or running with horses.)