FLORENCE THE FLAMINGO

Florence the friendly flamingo
Loves to dance flamenco.
She thinks it would be boring
Were she only orange.
That's why she's wearing pink, oh.

WALLY THE WARTHOG

Wally the wondrous warthog
Is resting on a log.
To ten miles he's aspiring,
But he finds it rather tiring
When he walks his dog.

PRISCILLA THE PIGEON

Priscilla the purple pigeon
Is cooking in the kitchen.
Her dishes are the nicest
'Cause she always uses spices
And sugar just a smidgeon.

X-RAY FISH

Have you ever had the wish
To be an X-ray fish?
That way your bones
Would hardly be unknowns,
And your tail you could swish.

CHARLIE WILLIAMSON

Charlie, a man I never met,
Was a man I won't forget.
I know the little bit
I read in his obit.
A stranger, Charlie never met.

Charlie was a marathoner of regional renown
And as educator and history buff well known.
He was a fine swimmer, biker, and triathlete
Who dearly loved to compete.
Energy seemed to flow from his bones.

Struck while riding on his bike,
He died doing what he liked.
Age may the rest of us encumber,
But to Charlie 'twas just a number.
This man I would have liked.

Enthusiasm Charlie never lacked.
Life he vigorously attacked.
I say live life for all that's in ya
Like Charlie of West Virginia,
And success you will attract.

CREATION

To ask, it is no sin,
How did it all begin?
God is the explanation
Given for creation.
But what is His origin?

JACKSON AT AGE ONE

We found Jackson hale and hearty
At his one-year birthday party.
He can't quite yet talk,
But he sure loves to walk,
And he's a little smarty.

BRUCE THE BEAR

Bruce the big brown bear
Loves his reclining chair.
He loves to doff his shoes
And peruse the morning news
With his hind legs in the air.

TOMMY THE TURTLE

As for Tommy the terrific turtle
Who used to run high hurdles,
He'd rather be an actor
Than out here driving tractor
Even though his soil is fertile.

BOB THE BOBCAT

Bob the bowlegged bobcat
Loves to fix a flat.
Because he has the knack
For working with a jack,
He does it quicker than scat.

MARLINTON'S TRIATHLON

The Great Greenbrier River Race
In Marlinton took place.
The running, paddling and biking
Were greatly to my liking,
And Snowshoe was my base.

THE HACKTIVISTS

China has more Internet users than the U.S.
But the news they get is less.
Their government blocks stuff out.
The hacktivists are doing something about
This unfree cyber press.

LETTING UP

I start slow, then ease up.
After all, I'm not a pup.
But 'twill be great
If I can participate
Till my jig is up.

IN HIS OWN LOCALE

The football coach at Southern Cal
Has plenty of recruits in his locale.
Fine recruits they are.
He doesn't have to travel far --
Seldom beyond Fernando Val.

ELECTED JUDGES

How should judges be selected?
In some states they are elected.
I guess that's democracy,
But it seems strange to me
To see votes by judges collected.

SMILEY THE SKUNK

Look at Smiley the smelly skunk.
He's studying to be a monk.
Of a skunk monk some see no need.
Such advice he doesn't heed.
Smiley says that's just bunk.

SARAH THE SLOTH

Sarah the two-fingered sloth
Is waving at a moth.
But she won't make a mess
Of her lovely dress.
It's quite a piece of cloth!

CARL THE CROW

Gaze at Carl the clever crow.
Grass he so loves to mow
That he mows the vacant lots,
And where he finds bare spots,
Seed he plans to sow.

LEWIS THE LEOPARD

Here we see Lewis the lively leopard.
He's chatting with a shepherd.
The shepherd has promises to keep,
And if Lewis messes with the sheep,
With buckshot he'll be peppered.

HECTOR THE HOUND

Do you like Hector the hairy hound?
He's the smartest dog around.
He uses colored tooth picks
To teach the pups arithmetic
Down at the pound.

ZEEK THE ZEBRA

Zeek the zany zebra
Was born in the sign of libra.
He loves to canter hither and thither
While he plays his zither,
A tough trick for a zebra.

INEZ THE IGUANA

Here is Inez the green iguana.
She loves it in the sauna.
She doesn't play piano,
Nor can she sing soprano,
And she doesn't even wanna.

CONNIE THE COD

This is Connie the well-shod cod.
Do you think she's odd?
She thinks it's a scandal
To be seen in sandals.
If you agree, just nod.

SNOWSHOE IN SPRING

If solitude is your thing,
Come up to Snowshoe in spring.
Ski in spring you cain't,
But you can help us paint,
And painting is such a fling!

SHIBBOLETH

If everyone whose name is Logan
Used a distinctive slogan,
It could be a shibboleth
If 'twas unknown to MacBeth
And to every Grogan.

CONGRESS

Is the U.S. Congress
The opposite of progress?
Pro being the opposite of con,
It's something to reflect upon
Because they do digress.

LEAVE BAD ENOUGH ALONE

Made a blunder you wish you didn't own?
Leave the darn thing bad enough alone.
To clarifications be averse.
They can only make it worse.
That seed cannot be unsown.

SEVENTY AND A HALF

You're no longer in your glory
At the age of withdrawals mandatory.
You've put your money in
Hoping more to win.
I'm not talking about the offertory.

(After age 70.5 specified minimum withdrawals from IRAs are required by law.)

PIONEERING REFORESTERS OF WVA

Max Rothkugel and George Craig
Our attention beg
And our respect and admiration.
As pioneers in reforestation,
They made the needle peg.

POET'S BLESSING

Be conditions good or adverse,
May you write good verse.
Wherever you may roam,
May you write good poems
Till they haul you in a hearse.

XENOPHOBIA

Comfy in your bathrobe,
Are you a xenophobe?
Do you feel a danger
In the form of strangers
From elsewhere on the globe?

TWO FACES

Culture presents different faces
Around the world in different places.
In one place an object of pity,
In another an incarnate deity
Is a girl born with two faces.

(Girl born in India with two faces is worshipped as a reincarnated Hindu goddess.)

WHY WOULD ANYONE REMARRY?

Taking a backward look,
Reflecting how long it took
Back in bygone days
To adjust to your spouse's ways
Without a reference book,

And how your partner became so contrary,
Why would anyone remarry?
Reflecting how your mate fumed and fussed,
Than to a new one having to adjust,
What could be more scary?

PHILIPPINE WATER

Number one I would not rank it.
From the tap we never drank it.
Since problems may defy
A reliable supply,
For security they tank it.

(The Philippines get a lot of rain. But the municipal water supply systems apparently are not reliable. A nice home invariably has a large elevated water storage tank outside.)

PHILIPPINE TOILETS

Please help us with our plan.
Flush it if you can.
If a problem requires chasing,
Dip water from the basin
With the handy little pan.

(On the floor beside the toilet there is often a basin with water and a dipping pan in it. When necessary, transfer water from the basin to the toilet cabinet.)

PHILIPPINE STEEL

Poverty that is real
Hasn't much appeal.
A construction material liked
By rich and poor alike
Is corrugated steel.

(Corrugated steel is a popular roofing material. In squatter villages it is also used for siding.)

THE JEEPNEY

The jeepney is a Philippine institution
Which generates much pollution.
It's solid, tough, and sturdy.
Is description, not to wordy,
Is surely in their constitution.

(The jeepney is a togetherness type of bus service.)

KNOLL CREST FARM

In Campbell County a fine bull farm we have got.
Of bulls, heifers, semen, and embryos it sells a lot.
Over sixty years this farm has developed.
Specialized bulls are genetically developed.
Produced anywhere, finer bulls and heifers are not.

CAPRICE

The capricious are inclined
To have a sudden change of mind.
They seem to take a fancy
To acting on whim or fancy
Instead of plans refined.

CENTIPEDE

What is the top speed
Of the centipede?
Give me a hint.
Can this critter sprint
When it has the need?

SLOTH

The sloth has this peculiar quirk:
It very slowly does its work.
Since contagious are they,
It's best to stay away
From where these critters lurk.

HEDONISM

Is pleasure the highest good?
This the hedonist has understood.
Around every corner peeking,
Pleasure he is ever seeking
And would have more if he could.

RAMPS

A ramp is a wild cousin of a leek.
Similar but more pungent is its reek.
On Pocahontas hillsides is where they are.
Its festivals are on the calendar
In the coming weeks.

Can you eat a lot of ramps?
Do they have your approval stamp?
If you had sufficient appetite
And planned to sleep alone that night,
Might you be the ramp-eating champ?


(Based on the caption of a front page photo in the 10 April 2008 Pocahontas Times of Marlinton, WV.)

GRATITUDE

There is no other attitude
More important than gratitude.
This is everywhere always so,
And I want you to know
This is not just a platitude.

CHAUVINISM

For his breaches way too big,
A chauvinist, who can also be a prig,
Thinks his country a great contender,
Or his race or his gender,
As in male chauvinistic pig.

SPRING SPRINGS QUICKLY

While still there may be flurries,
Spring comes busting out in a hurry.
After months of playing possum,
Come tulips, forsythias and apple blossoms
With a speed that's almost blurry.

LOSING YOUR COOL

As a general rule,
When you lose your cool,
Whatever the situation
Or the provocation,
It makes you look a fool.

GRATEFUL KIDS

When all is said and done,
To have a grateful son
Or, for that matter,
A grateful daughter
Is the greatest thing under the sun.

PERFECTIONISM

Perfectionism is a dogged curse.
Can't think of one that's worse.
Once this curse has found you,
Constantly it will hound you,
Till they haul you in a hearse.

FOREIGN TRAVEL

Foreign travel is in some ways nice,
But rather spendy is the price.
And long flights are arduous.
In fact, they're kind of hard on us.
So once a year will suffice.

FEUDING FAMILIES

About this I am brooding:
Some families fall to feuding.
Sisters and brothers
Lose respect for each other.
'Tis very sad, I'm concluding.

And I'm sure you know
'Twasn't always so.
Once they got along.
In fact, their love was strong.
But that seems long ago.

CONFERENCE

Ann Marie's studies never taper.
Yet she needs no nighttime vapor.
Of her studies it is a consequence
That she's gone off to a conference
To present a learned paper.

(Ann Marie gave a paper 5 March 2008 in Austin, TX. It was one of many she has presented.)

NASAL DRIP

Flying homeward at a rapid clip,
'Twas me and my nasal drip,
Mostly sleeping,
And that's in keeping
With having the grippe.

(We finally arrived in our driveway at 2 AM Sunday, 6 March 2008, went straight to bed, slept for 12 hours.)

WAY SOUTH

Way south in the land of ice,
The views were very nice.
Never bored,
We kept a record.
For you, here's a slice.

Views you'll find also
Of Buenos Aires and Santiago,
Of Portillo in the Andes,
Of gauchos with horses handy,
Of Patagonia and Terra del Fuego.

ABDUCTING GRANDMA

Maria, you could say, we kidnapped.
Brother Morris, you could say, we zapped.
Sister Teri was very clever.
Morris would have held Grandma forever.
We spirited her out while he napped.

Visiting Grandma, we were to learn,
To California she wanted to return.
She had agreed under some duress
To a P.I. life not for her the best.
For Siquijor she will not yearn.

At the Resort Coral Cay
We enjoyed a two-night stay
And learned more about her situation.
It was our base of operations
And the first step on our way.

Helen and I gave moral support
As we fast boated port-to-port.
We visited kin in old Cebu.
Manila then Teri took Grandma to
And got her an emergency passport.


(My 90-year-old mother-in-law, Maria Varian -- moving from Siquijor, Philippines to Alamo, California)

QUILINA

For Quilina don't be sorry
Though she's not a retiree.
At eighty-four
She runs a grocery store,
And she loves that sari sari.


(Quilina Labra of Cebu City, Philippines)

VAL

When it came to pushing wheelchair,
Val showed a lot of care.
A cheerful, friendly young man
Who married into the clan,
Val drove us here and there.


(Valentino O. Retulla of Cebu City, Philippines)

ROSE

The mother-in-law of Val,
Rose is a caring gal.
She shed a tear that glistened
When to Grandma's tale she listened
Because she is her pal.


(One of the Labra sisters of Cebu City, Philippines)

NORMA

I'm sure she knows a heap,
But Norma seldom says a peep.
She's one of the Labra daughters,
And we know that still waters
Are said to run deep.


(One of the Labra sisters of Cebu City, Philippines.)

GRANDMA

Though 89 she's left behind,
Grandma is doing fine.
Now she'll live with Teri,
And it isn't likely very
That for Siquijor she'll pine.


(My 90-year-old mother-in-law, Maria Varian -- moving from Siquijor, Philippines to Alamo, California)

JUDGE JENNY

May not see her for many a day,
But this much I can say:
Long time she has tarried,
But on the day she gets married
I'll give Jenny away.


(Judge Jenny Labra of Cebu City, Philippines)

FELY

A poem Fely has requested.
Don't know if she has a pension vested.
Don't know her very well.
Yet this much I can tell:
She's never been arrested.

At teaching, Fely was a whiz.
Yet lawyer is now her biz.
She has two beloved kids,
Already four grandkids,
And a hubby much older than she is.

Fely is as friendly as can be.
She lives life happily,
And she's the hostess
With the mostest
Whatever else she may be.

At her hubby's birthday bash
Fely served everything but hash.
There was even a whole roast pig
On her loaded table big,
And surely somewhere squash.

A dear friend to Jenny,
Fely is a new friend to me.
If ever I come back
And the time I do not lack,
Her I hope to see.


(Attorney Felicitas P. Veloso of Cebu City, Philippines)

PHILIPPINE SECURITY GUARDS

Many guards are in deployment
For security's enjoyment.
Down at the mall
You see them standing tall.
This is good employment.

PASSING THE PHILIPPINE NATIONAL BAR EXAM

When you pass the bar,
Everyone near and far
Who knows you or not
Knows what score you got
And how smart you are.


(With much fanfare, the results of the annual national bar exam are published in detail in newspapers on a date set by the Supreme Court.)

PHILIPPINE NATIONAL POLICE FORCE

For from sloppiness refraining,
Our cops will get some training.
We care a lot, of course,
About the way our force
Is its public image maintaining.


(Based on a front page article in a Philippine newspaper. Citizens complain about how officers wear their uniforms and about their appearance. An official responds.)

PRESIDENT ARROYO

If kudos you are seeking
While government needs some tweaking
And an executive order
Seems to be in order,
Issue it while you're speaking.


(Philippine president issues executive orders to government departments as part of a speech.)

ECCLESIASTICAL ARROGANCE

There is very little precedent
For a bishop barring a president
From to holy communion coming.
Of a bishop this is unbecoming
And cries out for punishment.


(Front page article in a Philippine newspaper: Archbishop Oscar Cruz said he would not allow a sinner like Ms. Arroyo to receive holy communion. Group of senators asks the national association of bishops to sanction him for conduct unbecoming a bishop.)

EXEMPLARY PATIENCE

This rule will seldom vary:
There'll be surprises when you marry --
Hopefully not so severe
That you cannot persevere
Through patience exemplary.

SIQUIJOR

Minimal distraction,
Limited attraction,
Coconuts, small island culture,
Fishing, subsistence agriculture.
Slow is every transaction.

CORAL CAY RESORT ON SIQUIJOR

I've seen the sea as smooth as glass.
I've seen a sunset you can't surpass.
But as for sport
At Coral Cay Resort,
I chose to pass.

PHILIPPINE LETHARGY

Whether it's clear or hazy,
In the heat you sweat like crazy.
So I guess it makes good sense
That as a consequence
Even the dogs are lazy.

PHILIPPINE ROOFING

If poor, you roof with neepa.
But it's not a long-term keeper.
Long-lasting is corrugated steel
Though it has less appeal
And its cost is steeper.

MRS. CASTILLON

Though I knew not who she was,
Mrs. Castillon was right nice to us.
We were her dinner guests.
Servants, fine home among the best.
She's the stepmother of a cuz.

FILIPINO KINFRIENDS

Distant kin in a far-off land,
New friends who are grand.
A real treat
These folks to meet.
So glad this trip we planned.

COLON PROBLEMS

Here's something you can count on:
"Death begins in the colon!"
My heartstrings this story tugged
About autopsies revealing colons plugged
And problems caused by toxic colon.


(Advertisement in The Philippine Star of 31 March 2008 for REDJUICE, a fruit juice blend with herbal extracts: "Autopsies often reveal colons that are plugged up to 80% with waste material. More than 65 different health problems are caused by a toxic colon.")