INTERCOURSE

It's "communication, relations, or dealings."
It's "interchange, as of thoughts, ideas, or feelings."
Well, of course,
That's social intercourse,
Which is among the dictionary's revealings.

We all know, of course,
There are many kinds of intercourse.
In Pennsylvania it's a town.
Couples do it lying down.
It's a crime when done by force.

There's vaginal and there's anal,
And some folks do it oral.
Avoiding dread diseases,
It's best to do what pleases
And avoid a quarrel.

It's commerce, you will find,
Can be commerce of a special kind,
And, as far as I can tell,
It works about as well
From in front as from behind.

Seeds it serves to sew
And affection also show.
Some find it's a blast
To do it rather fast
While others prefer it slow.

To the best of my knowledge,
It's the same as carnal knowledge.
Most folks for it have yearned.
With ease it can be learned.
(You needn't go to college.)

Intercourse is nothing new.
Other mammals do it too.
But, as their form demands,
The lady meanwhile stands.
(When she's in estrus this they do.)

Mounted on her back,
He cuts her little slack.
When it comes to positions
Favoring amorous dispositions,
Variety they lack.

In the absence of menstruation,
It's a cause for celebration.
When your juices get to flowing
And your partner you are knowing,
It sure beats masturbation.

It's best to first undress
And prepare for a gooey mess.
In the absence of dissension,
Then give your kind attention
To making love with tenderness.

A couple who their duty never shirk
Will never find it to be work
But may start an unfinished picture
Because the manly fixture
Doesn't always work.

It can result from persistence
After initial coy resistance.
Though not always nose-to-nose,
It's always done up close.
(It can't be done at a distance.)

It's done in positions various,
Some of them hilarious
And some a little scary.
Tried and true is missionary.
(It's not at all precarious.)

Some couples intend to osculate
All the while they copulate.
This being their disposition,
A face-to-face position
It tends to necessitate.

As your repertoire's expanding,
Face each other standing.
As a general rule,
You'll need a little stool,
And it is a bit demanding.

If you're afraid you might fall,
Lean up against the wall.
And if the room is cold,
It helps a lot, I'm told,
To use the lady's shawl.

Or try it bending over
While standing in the clover.
You'll know what's best for you
After trying quite a few
And mulling the matter over.